Frustrations and Foibles

Found in a Montana History book, from 1919. Just HAD to share:) Thanks to NCC for the pic! Me at my very first show, Uxbridge Fair, 1966. Not ONE lousy ribbon. Boy, was I frustrated.

Try to stay with me, it's a multitude of sins I'm trying to cover here. But mostly, I think we women need to recognize the nasty emotion we feel, whenever we do not get whatever it is that we want/politely ask for/desire. I'd like to quote from a trainer's site, without her permission, for edumacational purposes only. "Functional equitation should not be confused with show ring equitation; what wins in Equitation classes in the show ring is based on fashion and what looks nice to the judge, which may not be the most effective position for all horses and riders." Um, what?? and this.. "I was definitely not a Natural Rider and it frustrated me when learning…I had the desire and the commitment yet I just was not able to ride the way I wanted to! It was very frustrating, but as my trainer WAS a natural rider she was unable to understand or help with this problem. Most coaches are natural riders which is why it can be difficult to find help correcting this type of issue."

I give this rider an "A" for due diligence, but a "D" for attitude. Blaming your coach isn't an attitude to take to a lesson. Dismissing basic equitation principles, because they frustrate you, isn't the answer. Why? Letting frustration colour any/every facet of your life is recipe for disaster, especially if you work with/own/love animals. Equitation ideals are based on solid principles. That's been true longer than I've been around, anyway. But I guess the questionably fashionable "pickle-up-yer-butt" equitation style of the 90's does put a wee crimp in my argument.

I'd like to make a hugely annoying generalization again, because they are my forte. I think men deal with frustration far more easily than women. (smiles innocently.) They can release frustrations much more easily than we can, and they don't seem to dwell on them, as I do, anyway. Men seem to explode (in a variety of ways), and move on, with no side/ill effects. Even a whiff of our frustration emotion can send animals scattering.

Frustration can happen in any situation, with any type of outcome. Obviously the (ahem) more obvious frustrations will not be dealt with here. That's your problem;) Frustrations in training happen all the time, at any time. Just the ThoughT of being frustrated can frustrate you. My dogs can hear even a molecule of impatience/frustration/hurry-the-hell-up in my body language, scent and voice. It hampers how you deal, with anything. Everybody. Obviously. Or not, of course. It's so EASY to feel it, very hard to tamp it down, depending on various factors, often beyond your control. Which is kind of the definition of frustration. Loss of control.

Animals show frustration quickly, and do their best to release it. If they can't, one gets the repetitive behaviours, the bane of any animal keeper/trainer. Weaving. Cribbing. Aggression. Stall-walking. You name it, the animal does try to express it. Again, they don't try to hide it. Women are expected to be patient, and full of the anti-frustration. Fulfillment. But when we get on the horse, or snap on that dog's leash, or ask husband for some help, that cacophony of "make sure/relax this/thrust this/force this" stiffens every part of our body, IF we let that cacophony start. Shhhhhhh. Get on, relax. Let all the voices telling you to ride the way you USED to, stfu. Let your body turn into a wiggling bowl of jello. Jello is a natural rider:)

Our own "want to RIDE like Beezie" (or insert your own hero here) frustration overwhelms our bodies, if we LET it. It shows in our shoulders/arms and hands, usually, first. Usually. It shows in our seat. Instead of going with the motion, we ride against it, stiffening against the flow. Women try so darn HARD. Men just go with whatever is happening. Their frustrations don't even measure on the Richter scale of emotion. When they do become frustrated, they deal with it, let it go. Women throw kindling on it. A woman's frustration with herself is a volatile, powerful thing. It can hurt you. Don't let it.

If you feel that little flame starting to flicker, blow it out, tamp it down. How? Breathe. Pretend you're a stripper, or something. Make yourself laugh with yourself. Hum a stripper tune. Not that I know any, except for Joe Cocker's "You Can Leave Your Hat On". Hey, the old bump and grind is good for flexibility in your hips. That is not something your mother will teach you.  FernValley is arguably the best breeder of Appaloosa Horses in Canada Land, I have awarded her an incredibly weird prize. Also, just because Fern's an amazing person. Check out her babies. Check out Classy's Video. What a mover. In my horse time, Appys didn't move like that. I'm so glad there are breeders out there like Fern, actually improving the breed! Fern won't believe what she's getting, assuming Canada Post does their job. Martin will try to share. Only if he hasn't frustrated you recently, Fern:)

To The End of all Frustrations. yeah, as IF;)