Faith, Hope & Affluenza

Okay, trying this post again, maybe more coherently, maybe not. "We must not indulge in unfavourable views of mankind, since by doing it we make bad men believe that they are no worse than others, and we teach the good that they are good in vain". walter savage landor. I liked that, don't know why.

My Christmas visit with my step-daughter SD and husband's Ex, and of course husband, became a little rankly (afterward), when I was the only person who wouldn't "believe" in creationism. Because, SD had asked a really great question about the evolution vs. creative design debate.

She's at an age that I know is a time of really correlating what the heck life is going to be like, and what it's been like, in a cosmic sense. My step-daughter SD is a great kid, her mom has done a wonderful job of raising her. Lots of good things have happened for them at their church. I feel churches are wonderful for communities. SD is almost 17, works at Timmy's, gets good grades, and minds her mom. Get this. Ok, my husband's ex's ex, (they split up last Christmas) is a very strictly church-going guy. The Bible is the Word, and the Law.

Ex's ex was also abusive to my husband's ex. Ex & Ex met at church. I know, it's a sitcom. I believe in the science we've learned, and I have my own faith for how we might come closer to the higher powers that I do believe exist. (deep breath). I don't believe science and faith in God have to be on opposite sides of a fence.

I remember driving somewhere with husband, early in the courting ritual, we were listening to XTC's "Dear God" song, which I'm sorry, but I love. Husband threw the tape out the window. Guess I should have realized then, eh? A line from the song "people fighting in the streets, 'cause they can't make opinions meet, about God" has always stayed with me. I believe in forces much more powerful, more advanced, more intelligent than anything we may even dream of. More than the best science fiction we've dreamed up. I do believe in that.

That I won't name that power as God, guaranteed me a really crummy Friday night:( I feel the rhythms of the earth, the swirling of spirits, the energy that is life. The day Mom died, I saw something fly upward, out of the corner of my eye. Mom was a thousand miles away at the time. I know my husband was right, with his last point, that the debate can be resolved by exclaiming that the two ideas (evolution & creationism, if the reader is still awake) don't have to be mutually exclusive of each other. 

There are some deeply religious people in the sciences. They feel no conflict of interest. I admire that thinking. There are people that have done terrible things in the name of their deity. That I don't admire. I have known people with no sense of morals, devoutly. I've found that, for some, I do not say all, going to church can "make bad men feel they are no worse than others." I don't think you can give up on hope, and still have faith.

My husband says he feels hopeless, but he still has faith. I don't understand that. I feel hope, is that faith? My love for all things outdoors, is a faith I have. I answered my husband's daughter's question flippantly, in his mind. I am very often flip, especially when I feel cornered, or I sense the mood should be lightened. Doesn't mean I'm doing it right..

It keeps the conversation light, at least it always has with the SD & Ex. I see them once a year. They seem to like me. My husband nearly blew a gasket, when we got home. I think as long as I'm speaking, I'm doing ok. My darlin' husband. He's a beaten down ex-farmer. Ok, that's too many ex's in one post, I might get linked to the wrong type of site.

See, when I say anything, I'm in trouble. When I don't, it's still trouble. I'm still thinking about this. Affluenza will have to wait. I may come back and edit this, when I've eaten:) There, that's better. I mean, I tremble to even bring up such words, which strikes me as odd. How can we bridge the chasms surrounding ourselves, our cultures, our religions? How can we learn to get along? Why are people still killing each other? How can words like "ethical treatment of animals" have such a broad range of definitions? Such a different meaning, for different people.

Hoping for Horses. I hope for us all. As George Michael sang, Ya gotta have Faith.